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My, y’all are prolific. It took me a good chunk of day to catch up with your lovely words. [I say that as if it weren’t obvious by the fact that I probably now compose the entirety of anyone who is following me’s main column.] I M IN UR TIMELINE, ATTAKIN UR UPDAYTZ.

In the interest of newness, I’ve decided to log a tea that I didn’t drink today, but haven’t said anything about yet. Nocturnal Bliss is both an ideally nocturnal tea as well as blissful. If you don’t like Rooibos [like I know at least a couple of you do not] then you probably aren’t going to like this either because…uh, this is a Rooibos-based tea. But for those of you who DO enjoy a little red tea, you might have an appreciation for this one.

The lemon flavor is a little strong in this one [and in that aspect almost reminds of Earl Grey, in a strange way], notably in the aftertaste. If you breathe in after taking a sip you really get a hit of it. I wouldn’t call the tea sour by any means, but it is definitely present and would like you to know it. The corn flowers are pretty to look at, but I’m not sure what they add in terms of flavor. The stevia I can taste as well. [That is, I think I can – I’m not 100% sure what stevia tastes like but I think I’ve had it in other teas before and I’m pretty sure I tasted what I think stevia is in this tea. I am too tired to check that last sentence to make sure it makes sense.]

The final verdict is that I enjoy this one, but not as much as I like Ocean of Wisdom, so once I’m done it’s gonna be nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, you know what to this one. Definitely worth a try if those flavors appeal to you though. I have yet to be disappointed by a Samovar tea.

You might think it would be weird to drink a big cup of steaming popcorn.

But you’d be wrong.

Dear Pumpkin Spice,

I wanted to like you. Really, I truly did. I know that you might not want to hear that right now, but please hear me out.

When I was mildly disappointed with the first cup, I did not shun you. I tried you again the next day. When that cup, too, left me crestfallen, I was not deterred.

I know what you’re thinking, but don’t you DARE pretend that I didn’t put effort into trying to fix this. I experimented. I changed your steep time. I changed your water temperature. I changed the amount of you that I put in…you. I sat by your bed and read you Harry Potter, and I even held your hair back on that one night we decided to take shots every time those girls on The Hills did something that made us want to lose our faith in humanity. And still, after everything that we’ve been through, things just never felt right.

You were just so bitter. I could never understand it. You looked so good on paper, and I’d be lying if I said your scent wasn’t slightly intoxicating, but being in your company simply wasn’t enjoyable.

I think that the night I knew it was over was when I broke down and tried you with cream and sugar, and I got no pumpkin flavor and could only taste the sugar. With all due respect to your parents, why would they name you Pumpkin when there is no pumpkin to be had? Are you related to the Scented-Bitter-Waters who live up north?

And now, we must part ways. I’m sorry, Spice. Please believe me when I say that I wanted this to work.

Sincerely,
Heather

P.S. You wouldn’t happen to have any friends who taste a lot better than you do, would you?

After last time’s what I consider to be failed experiment, I went and read up on what other people were doing who made this tea. In a twist of irony, it turns out that I did need more balls. At the suggestion of several people [though I believe most vehemently @cofftea] I put in a whopping 5 for my cup today and was pleasantly surprised.

The enjoyment I got on this go round was vastly improved. I got a lot more of that cocoa aspect from it [and by cocoa I do mean like the unprocessed, unsweetened stuff, not a Swiss Miss packet with the mini marshmallows].

It reminds me of when I was younger, and my mom would be baking something with unsweetened chocolate and I would beg her for a piece. She’d always say, “No,” [or sometimes “NO! GO AWAY!”] but then one day [either I was being notably obnoxious or she just wanted a laugh] she broke me off a small chunk. And would you believe it, she made ME clean up the chocolate that I promptly spit on the floor. THE NERVE.

Now that I’m older, and I like to think that my tastes have matured a bit, I have developed more of a liking for that dark, bitter chocolate. [Not to be confused with unsweetened baking chocolate, which remains nasty raw, in my opinion.] You know, the kind of thing that the fancy chocolatiers carry and come from various places in South America. [Scharffen Berger cocoa nibs are WHERE IT’S AT, by the way.]

With all this talk about chocolate, you’d think I’d be ready to jump into bed with this tea, but I think I need it to hint at sweetness, and I’m not getting any of that. This is a problem I often have with black tea, which again is ironic because I used to be ALL ABOUT coffee and black tea is most reminiscent of that flavor profile for me. It’s just too bitter for my tastes, I think. I need to put additives in it to really enjoy it, and I don’t like putting things in my tea for whatever reason. Call it a quirk. Black teas also occasionally upset my stomach, and though I know you’re DYING to hear more about that particular experience I’m not going to indulge you with the unpleasant details involved.

I can see myself enjoying Black Dragon Pearls when in a specific mood, and I think this might be something I’ll seek out once winter roars into gear, so I’ll likely be saving it for then. Maybe I’d like it more if I combined it with something a little sweeter. [If you have suggestions, please, leave them.] Or perhaps I’ll go against my ever-so-stringent belief system and try this with a little caramel in it, because that could just be the clincher that results in a re-order. And if nothing else, Jeebus knows I need to be spending more money. WE SHALL SEE.

I got this as a sample and decided to give it a soak tonight. First off, I almost want to buy this for the sole purpose of being able to yell SERENITY NOW! whenever someone asks me what I’m drinking. And while we’re on the thread of non-practical reasons to like this tea, it also reminds me of my most favorite canceled television show ever, Firefly.

As for the tea itself, I’m officially impressed. The concept of a Tea Sommelier is pretty cool, but with the way that this tea come together it makes me think that the people at Tavalon have someone over there whose work is more akin to that of a mixologist. I could easily pull out every single one of the components they listed in the description of that tea, and they unfolded very nicely. The chamomile, the vanilla, and the rooibos give it warmth, the lemongrass adds a brightness, and the peppermint leaves you feeling clean at the finish. The combination of it all, at points, reminds me ever-so-vaguely of Red Vines [who, for those unfamiliar, makes the best red licorice in the world and would stab the heck out of Twizzlers in a knife fight]. The tea is not sweet, but the aftertaste makes you think that it is.

I don’t hate chamomile, but I don’t love it either, so this isn’t something that I could drink on a regular basis. When I find myself in the mood for a little chamomile action, however, I can most definitely see this being a tea I would crave.

Sorry, but I’ve got to do it.

SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!

Fin.

I spent yesterday in a hazy, yawn-y, groggy, unproductive fog. It was one of those days when you know you’ve got shit to do but you feel like you’re moving through molasses, and then you realize you’re in the middle of things you shouldn’t be doing…two hours later. One of those days when it feels like it should be rainy and depressing outside, but isn’t, so it frustrates you further.

I woke up this morning, was thinking of starting off the day with a white tea, and then thought, “NO! NOT AGAIN!” and decided today needed something a bit more hardcore. Ryokucha, I love you. And you look gorgeous in my new mug, if I do say so myself.

This is probably the first of Adagio’s teas that I can see myself re-ordering. After reading what other people have written, I was hesitant to try it because it sounded like it was going to be cloying and blech.

When I popped the lid off the smell punched me in the face. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to make me jerk my head back. Not to be deterred, I measured some out and poured the water over it. It’s at times like these that I am so, so glad that http://steep.it exists because it greatly reduces the chances of me oversteeping anything anymore.

One, I think that the color of this tea is gorgeous. It’s like a very, very pale shade of chartreuse. This may have been improved by the fact that I just got a new mug from Crate & Barrel and I LOVE IT [http://twitpic.com/k481j]. It really does work, too! Keeps the tea hot a good deal longer than my other ones do and I can pick it up without fear of burning myself. AND it’s so very pretty. Feed the birds, Bodum.

The tea itself was surprisingly lovely. I put in about a teaspoon for 8 oz. of water and steeped it for 2 minutes 45. This could probably go to 3 minutes, but I was very afraid of oversteeping it. The flavor was light, and the citrus taste subtle. I get a lemon scent from it, but the taste is more reminiscent of lime.

A lot of people have compared this to froot loops, but I never really ate a lot of froot loops so I can’t confirm or deny on that account. All in all, I found it extremely refreshing. I should also mention that I’m a huge fan of citrus, so if you don’t like it…PBBBBBTHHHT. I’m kidding, but you should obviously avoid this one.

Last night, after engaging in some shenanigans out at the local bar [some friends and I were replicating the “parkour” they were doing on The Office a few episodes ago, which for those who don’t know entails mainly of jumping on things, spinning around, and yelling “PARKOUR!”] some of us ended up back at someone’s house to watch a movie.

Fake parkour, as it turns out, is rather exhausting [I can’t even imagine what the real thing is like]. Especially when you end up on the floor because you are laughing too hard.

We are fans of hookah, so once that was going I broke out the tea. Tea and hookah, in my limited experience, can go very well together. [Tea and alcohol typically do not, so now may be a good time to add that I wasn’t imbibing that night as I was driving. This also likely catapults my previously mentioned behavior to a new level of ridiculousness. Or AWESOMENESS.]

Yes, yes, I often carry a tin or two of tea around with me. And a strainer. I like big butts [sorry, couldn’t resist – purses, I like big purses], so it’s really not too much of a stretch to throw a couple in there. A lot of my friends don’t drink loose tea, so it’s also allowed me to slowly introduce them to the wonderful world that most of us Steepsterians [Steepsterites?] live in.

If brewing tea in other people’s houses has taught me anything, it’s that it’s well, well worth it to try and control, as best you can, all four aspects of making tea. I cannot tell you how many times I, and I’m sure you, have run into information that advises you to control the time, temperature, amount of tea, and water type [I’ve gathered from the majority of people to use filtered, but not distilled]. This is easy enough to do at home, or perhaps work, but in other people’s homes it may not be so simple for any varying number of reasons. I know that when I started out making tea, I would pay attention to the time, then eventually the water temperature, but I didn’t think that filtered water would really make that huge of a difference. I tried it anyway, and it wasn’t until I made a cup at a friend’s house where I had to use tap water that I noticed there was a definite discrepancy in flavor. All I’m saying is: it’s important.

Tea is also something that I think is overwhelmingly more enjoyable when you have time to savor it and concentrate on the flavors. Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci kicking peoples faces in is not necessarily conducive to this kind of calming contemplation, but it is comforting to have a cup of something good in your hands when you’re watching something dark and kind of depressing.

I still consider myself to be new to the tea game. Now that Steepster has me reading all of your wonderfulness, I find myself googling things [or binging things – I’m an equal-opportunity search engine user] on a consistent basis. If a year ago, someone had asked me if I liked Ceylon, I would have said, “Is that like a robot?” And if someone had asked me if I wanted to try some Black Dragon Pearls, I would have said, “What is that? Dragon testicles?”

BECAUSE I’M CLASSY.

But really. These balls are huge. [Snicker, snicker.] Maybe I just haven’t had a lot of “pearl” tea, but these seem exceedingly large to me. Is that how Black Dragon Pearls are done traditionally? I am enclosing a picture for reference. [There’s a rotate button on the top right. I can’t get it to turn on my phone.] My wallet is not for reference, I just think it’s funny.

http://twitpic.com/jw8dc

The taste of the tea wasn’t nearly as impressive as the size of its balls [okay, okay, I’m done]. If I say that it had taste but was rather flavorless, would that make sense? Maybe I didn’t let it sit long enough, but I found the whole experience to be relatively bland. The cocoa was a lot more apparent on the nose than the tongue, but I did get a couple of glimpses of it towards the very end after it had cooled considerably.

Additionally, any tea that I can watch unfurl is always enjoyable for me because I’m easily entertained. I’m on the edge of giving this a thumbs up, but it’s not quite there. Maybe it’ll grow on me. Or maybe I just need more balls.

That’s what she said.

Thomas, we need to talk.

I like you. It’s just that…well, it’s not you. It’s me. I’ve been talking to your pal Jackee, see, and…I’m sorry. I think you knew this was coming, right?

Ok, but in all seriousness, the description of this tea [besides being clever and chuckle-worthy] contains a warning that I should have paid more attention to – do not oversteep this tea. And by oversteep, I don’t just mean let it sit there for too long, I also mean that if you have a tendency to put more tea in the cup and steep for shorter times like I do, DO NOT FORGET THAT YOU DO THIS.

Oversteeping this tea results in something not unlike a right hook to the uvula, and while I’m sure my face was HILARIOUS when I took a sip, it also scared me off from trying this again until today.

This tea is good – a little darker in taste with a bit more bitterness than the teas I tend to gravitate toward, but complex and something I would like to spend a little more time with to try to parse the flavors out of it. It’s kind of earthy, though not in the same way that pu-erh is, and for me it begins to hint at raisins once I’ve let it sit long enough.

Still, in a battle of dukes I’d have to give the first few rounds to Jackee Muntz thus far.

As an aside, now that I’ve had the privilege of peeking at the wondrous bounties that Andrews & Dunham has to offer, I desperately want them to bring back Series 1 so that I can get my hands on some tins.

Also, though not really related, while I’d like to be able to claim that their theme on this series conjures up images for me of something not ridiculous, I found myself going back to a website I haven’t been to in years.

http://homestarrunner.com/oldtimeyween.html

That’s right. The Homestar Runner. IT’S DOT COM!